Bugbears.  Arguments over grammar and style are often as fierce as those over Windows versus Mac, and as fruitless as Coke versus Pepsi and boxers versus briefs. Pedantic and vicious debates over knotty matters such as prepositions at the end of a sentence, beginning a sentence with however or therefore, or split Infinitives may be entertaining to those who enjoy cockfights, but do little to improve writing. Know as much as you can about the rules, but strive above all for clarity and grace.

Source: Jack Lynch’s Website: http://andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Writing/b.html#bugbears

To Who it May Concern

We recently received your proposal for the new schedule. Which was creative to say the least. Thank you, for suggesting 16 hour work days. Mr. Anderson and me were going to suggest something similar.

We felt badly about the recent lay-offs and know that you are already working very hard. But you are appearing good since your operation and we know you can handle anything. Having worked nights and weekends for the past twelve months, everyone at Busy Bee’s is showing their strong work ethic.

Attached is some minor adjustments. Reading them over you’ll notice the pay cut, removal of the coffee machine (energy costs these days!), and emilination of sick days. If you have any questions please contact Me rather than Mr. Anderson. These days, I am more available than him.

Warmest Regards,
Tim Tiredly

Read the letter below. Then, answer the questions for some writing and logic practice.
**********************************************************

Dear Mr Python

I attended your movie the Life of Brian and must write to say Shame On You. This scandalous satire on the christian religion is heretical, now I’m sure you were reared to be a good christian boy but you have fallen in with a bad breed whom are leading you down a contemptible path, you are losing your soul to comedy and I for one think there’s enough laughter in the world, as I told Mrs. Plimpton just yesterday while she was feeding the English sparrows. She does this so neatly. Encircling muffin and bread crumbs around her statue of St. Francis of Assisi for the English sparrows which are in danger of extinction, now that might make a good movie and you could slip in a few jokes if you must.

But in my opinion comedy is ruining our nation and undermining our national character. We are not joking people but people who get things done using cold logic. Consier what would have happened in world war2 if Churchill at Yalta had made jokes about Stalin’s moustache or Roosevelts gamey leg. We might be speaking that ugly guttural language and writing nouns with 20 letters! Did you ever think about the consequences of comedy for the sake of comedy? We are a people of the “stiff upper lip” and we didn’t get that by laughing but by exercising sharp judgments of other nations inferiority and we are certainly not entertained by scurrilous attacks on a religion that gave us Gothic Cathedrals, the Cruscades, the inquisition, and bans on birth control.

With warmest regards,

Mrs. Evelyn Mott of Hampstead

Help Mrs. Mott with Her Letter

This letter has plenty of mistakes in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. It also has major logic problems. Can you identify them?

1. What is Mrs. Mott’s main argument?
2. What examples does Mrs. Mott use to support her position?
3. What examples would you use to support Mrs. Mott’s position?

1) According to Monty Python’s Flying Circus, the Montgolfier brothers were the first balloonists. (Introductory phrase is set off by a comma.)

2) Actually, the first balloonist was a chap from Cheapside, and he expired when his balloon collapsed over the Lady’s Auxillary Tea in Bennington. (Introductory word “actually” set off by comma; two independent clauses set off by comma.)

3) Mrs. Mott, not the apple heiress but a modest housewife from Hampstead, cried, “Oh my god, he has broken my favorite teapot.” (Parenthetical phrase set off by comma; before quote a comma is used; introductory exclamation set off by comma from the statement.)

4) Because the balloonist had broken Mrs. Mott’s favorite teapot, the Lady Auxillary dragged his body to the nearest creek. (Dependent clause at the beginning of sentence is set off by commas; however, if the sentence is reversed, no comma is necessary: “The Lady Auxillary dragged his body to the nearest creek because the balloonist had broken Mrs. Mott’s favorite teapot.”)

5) There, under the cover of darkness, they plunged the body in the creek, and they watched it slowly float like a summer leaf, bobbing up and down until it vanished. (Introductory word (there) set off by a comma; parenthetical phrase (under cover of darkness) set off by comma; two independent clauses separated by comma; final phrase (bobbing up…) set off by commas.)

6) The Ladies, however, salvaged tarp from the balloon, and they sewed large tents 10 feet by 10 feet for their next tea. (Set off transitional words (however) with commas: separate two independent phrases with commas.)

7) At the next tea held in Hampstead, the Ladies Auxillary erected these tents, and they served jam muffins with clotted cream, thick sticky buns, chocolate éclairs, and Cornish cookies. (Introductory phrase set off by commas; separate two independent clauses by commas; separate a series of items by commas.)

Tips for Using Commas
• Know the difference between dependent and independent clauses.
• Know what phrases are.
• Know what parenthetical phrases are.

Stayed tuned; we’ll define these terms and show you how to use them!

A Monty Python Comma Quiz

Test your comma IQ by adding commas to the following sentences. Do you know why you need a comma here or there?

1) According to Monty Python’s Flying Circus the Montgolfier brothers were the first balloonists.

2) Actually the first balloonist was a chap from Cheapside and he expired when his balloon collapsed over the Lady’s Auxillary Tea in Bennington.

3) Mrs. Mott not the apple heiress but a modest housewife from Hampstead cried “Oh my god he has broken my favorite teapot.”

4) Because the balloonist had broken Mrs. Mott’s favorite teapot the Lady Auxillary dragged his body to the nearest creek.

5) There under the cover of darkness they plunged the body in the creek and they watched it slowly float like a summer leaf bobbing up and down until it vanished.

6) The Ladies however salvaged tarp from the balloon and they sewed large tents 10 feet by 10 feet for their next tea.

7) At the next tea held in Hampstead the Ladies Auxillary erected these tents and they served jam muffins with clotted cream thick sticky buns chocolate éclairs and Cornish cookies.

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This is The Writing Company with today’s topic: “The Great Debate: Whether to Use Active or Passive Voice; That Is the Question.”

Stroll into any bookstore and browse through the business writing section.  You’ll find slim books, fat books, workbooks, and those heavy grammar books you can use for door stops.  Look up “active/passive” voice.  I’ll bet you’ll find this advice:

“Always use the active voice in business writing. It is easier to read and takes fewer words.”

For the most part, this is true.  Active voice is easier to read and in many instances uses fewer words.  But “always” be wary of “always” dictums.  Writing is more complicated than following a set of absolute rules—and this is especially true for using active and passive voice.

Both active and passive voice  have their place in the world. You just need to know when to use them—and use them appropriately.  And here’s where the “Great Debate” begins.

For those impatiently waiting for a definition of what exactly active and passive voice is, let me give you a few examples.

Number one: Active voice focuses on who does what.
Passive voice focuses on what is done.

Here’s another way to think of this:  When babes learn English at an early age, they learn to speak in active voice.  The English sentence often—but not always—
Puts the subject first
Followed by a verb
And sometimes includes an object.

So we have a subject/verb/object arrangement.  Visualize the sentence order:
subject + verb + object.  This sentence order sounds natural to us because we learn it early on.

Here’s an active voice sentence:
Dad feeds the dog.
Dad is the subject/ feeds is the verb/ dog is the object.  Got it?  Subject/verb/object.

Remember that active voice emphasizes Who does What.

Dad (who) is the actor
Feeds is the action
Dog (what) is the receiver of the action.

So active voice reads like this: actor + action + receiver

Now, let’s change this sentence to passive voice.
The dog is fed by dad.
Who is the actor?

Many of my students say the dog is the actor because Fido the dog is in the subject position, where we typically find actors.  But how can Fido feed himself?  Imagine Fido climbing up into the pantry, finding his Alpo and opening it?   Ridiculous, you say.

The dog is the subject of the sentence but also the receiver of the action.
Is fed becomes the verb
And our actor, dad, is now the object of the sentence.

So passive voice reads like this:  receiver + passive verb + actor.

Confusing? Yes.  We expect “Dad” the actor to be in the subject position, but now he is relegated to the object position—and this is why passive voice is not intuitively understood, especially for English speakers.

So as readers, passive voice makes us do a double-take.  We have to figure out who does what, when the actor is the object and not the subject of the sentence.

Passive voice also uses a “passive verb”—the to be verb form; hence the name.  “To be” verbs include “is/are/was/were—anything with the “be” form.  He is handsome. She was once a queen. Forests are beautiful, etc.

Passive voice replaces action verbs like feed.  And oftentimes passive voice has no actors.  And that’s why passive voice gets a bad rep: Consider these examples:
•    Rivers were polluted.
•    Taxes were raised.
•    Forests were felled.
In each example the “to be” verb is used: “were.”  But also no actors are involved.  Who polluted the rivers, who raised the taxes, and who felled the forests?

In passive voice the actor is hidden—obscured—in a sleight-of-hand grammatical trick.   No one is responsible.

If we recast the sentences in active voice, we now know who did what:

•    Truman Company polluted the rivers.
•    Congress raised taxes.
•    Paul Bunyan felled the forest.

Because much of government writing uses passive voice and no one is named, we become suspicious of who did what—who is accountable.   If bad things happen—like polluted rivers—and no one is accountable, we question the motives of the action.

But let me pay due to passive voice.  It has its purposes, especially when the actor is unimportant or not known.

Here are a few examples of when passive voice is appropriate:
•    When stating a general belief:
o    Aspirin is believed to reduce heart attacks. (“is believed” is the passive verb)
o    The world is round.

•    When the actor is unimportant:
o    Safety checks must be conducted before each flight.

•    When the actor is unknown.
o    My checkbook was stolen last week.

•    When the actor should not be named:
o    Several errors were made in the budget.  (Do we really want to single out John for his poor math?)

•    When focusing on results:
o    My back account is overdrawn.  (How did that happen?  I wrote too many checks!  Active voice.)

But passive voice also has its pitfalls, especially when actors must be named.  As an example.  Some time back, I was helping government contract negotiators write a set of guidelines.  While revising the guidelines, I came across this statement:

•    If the contractor has received clearance within 24 months before the awarded contract, there must be a copy of this clearance in the file.
o    Question: Who does what?  Who puts the copy into the file?

Let’s anticipate a worst-case scenario.  The contract goes awry.  The auditors review the files but find no clearance among the documents.  Who is responsible for the clearance? It doesn’t say. The contract goes to litigation, the negotiator loses his job, then his house, finally his wife leaves with the kids and dog for Pittsburg—all because of passive voice.

Extreme, you say.  Well, don’t take a chance.  Know whether to use active or passive voice, given the circumstance.

Let me close with a quote—rephrased of course—from the Great Bard: “Whether to use exist or not to be alive,” that is the question.

Keep America Safe with Good Writing!

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